Why “Time Management” Isn’t the Answer | 7 Keys for Taking Back Your Time


Think of time as an investment, not an unruly child.


If you have Type-A overachiever tendencies like me (hey! welcome!), you’ve probably read your fill on time management and productivity.

Me, too. I’ve always been captivated by the idea that I could get more done in less time.

On the surface, it’s a good thing. After all, who doesn’t want to make the most of their time?

However, my productivity obsession has a dark side: I set unrealistic, perfectionistic goals for myself.

And when I inevitably fail to reach those goals, I spiral into an anxiety-crazed frenzy of overwork to get things done.

Normally, I get a little rush of excitement from finishing a task, but when my to-do list overwhelms me, I barely notice.

To me, time management was the key to getting rid of all of that.

If I could just be more productive, and more disciplined, I wouldn’t feel the stress of having too much to do in too little time.

Until one day, I realized I was chasing the wrong thing.

I can’t scare away anxiety by having a perfectly managed schedule. If I want to live the life I’ve always dreamed of, I have to address the way I view the hours and days that make up that life.

Maybe you do, too.

If so, here are some ways you can start taking back control of your time.

None of these are overnight fixes, but if you really take them to heart, they can transform how you view your life and your schedule.

Let’s dive in!

1. Say It With Me: “I’m Not What I Produce”

The word “Productivity” comes from the Latin word producere, which means, “lead or bring forth, draw out.”

We get “produce” from the grocery store- fruit and vegetables that a worker, somewhere, has worked to bring forth from a tiny seed.

To be productive is to create something that other people find valuable.

I believe we are wired to want to produce things, to contribute to other people’s lives in meaningful ways.

But sometimes that desire gets out of hand, and we treat it as if it’s our sole purpose for existing. We think that we don’t have value unless we can show that we’re “productive.”

And that’s simply not true!

If you look back on the people who have had the most impact on you, chances are they aren’t the people who produced the most things or gave you the most.

It’s the people who knew and loved you.

Your value is in who you are, not in your ability to make things happen.

2. Time Doesn’t Need to Be Managed

I don’t really have any problem with time management as a practice- but as a concept, I think it’s a little problematic.

Generally speaking, if you have to “manage” a thing or a situation, that means that that thing or situation isn’t yours. It’s outside of your control, but you’d very much like it to be inside of your control.

I’m not going to lie- that’s the way time feels for a lot of people, myself included.

But trumpeting “Time Management” as the answer in my own life has only set me up for failure.

If I see time as something that has a will of its own, that’s outside my control, like an unruly toddler…

Then I’m not going to approach it properly.

But if I see it as something that I already have, that’s well within my control, then I have the ability to organize and prioritize effectively.

More on that in future blog posts.

3. Investing Your Time Means Making Choices (Sometimes Hard Choices)

The number of years, months, days, and hours you have varies, and it’s your choice how you spend the time you have left.

But you DO have to make choices.

I’m not trying to be morbid, and I’m also not trying to bring back “YOLO” as a phrase. (May it rest in peace)

What I am trying to do is give you a framework to help you realize that you can’t do it all.

I think it’s fair to say that a lot of us don’t live with any real sense of our own mortality. That’s why it comes as such a shock when someone we knew in high school dies or when we get an unexpected diagnosis.

We think we have time to do everything. Everything we can ever dream of with our lives, (plus everything everyone else wants us to do, too.)

And- you can do some of it, sure. Maybe even a lot of it!

But if you want to live a fulfilling life, you have to choose some things to say, “Yes! Right now!”

And when you do, you’ll also need to acknowledge that you’re saying, “Not now” and “Not ever” to others.

These are hard choices to make. In fact, they’re almost impossible if you don’t know what you really want out of life. Which leads us to our next point…

4. Figure Out What’s Important to You

Figuring out the things you should choose (and the things you shouldn’t!) in life is easier said than done.

To be honest, I think *most* about my priorities at work, where it’s fairly easy to know which things are most important and urgent. (Plus, if I’m not sure, I just go ask someone!)

In life, it’s a little harder.

I wish I could give you a short quiz to help you figure out what’s most important to you, for your life. Maybe someday I’ll develop one!

But the truth is, there are a LOT of things that are probably pulling on you right now.

So instead of trying to give you an answer that’s too simple to do any good, I’m going to recommend some things that have been really helpful to me at different points in my life. None of these links are sponsored, they’re just things I’ve found helpful.

When trying to figure out big-picture values and priorities: the process Andy Stanley talks about here has been really helpful for me.

When trying to figure out what’s most important to me in a given situation: I use the Values Sort Card app (you could easily replicate this process with some index cards and a pen, but the app is free and I love how convenient it is)

When planning my week: I use a modified version of the Full Focus method, where I list everything I have to do that week, then plan my three most important tasks for each day.

5. Make a Plan For What You Want to Achieve

Speaking of planning, another of the keys to getting what you want out of life is to make time for the things that are most important to you.

For me, one of the most important things right now is writing for this blog. So here I am, on a Thursday night, sitting in front of my laptop when the trash needs to be taken out, the house needs to be cleaned, and I’m in the middle of reading two extremely compelling books.

I love writing and I’m not going to pretend that I don’t. But there are plenty of things- good things- that I could be doing right now. Instead, I’m here- because I’ve made a promise to myself to work on this blog for two hours every Thursday night.

Thankfully, Thursday nights work for me because that’s the time my hubby plays basketball- so we don’t make social engagements for that time slot. But if you don’t have any “safe zones” like that in your life, you may need to delete some things from your schedule. If you have a family, obviously this will need to be done as a team. But no matter what, if something is important to you, you need to make time for it.

(And if you can’t make time for it- I suggest you stop saying it’s “important.” Speaking from personal experience, that’s only going to stress you out when you aren’t making progress on it.)

6. Realize There’s Risk Involved

When you’re investing money, there are “safe options.”

I’m sure you know what they are- you invest in stocks, that’s a little more risky than bonds. If you invest in something that spreads your risk out over multiple assets, that’s less risky than going all in on one stock.

Safe options are a thing if you’re talking about investing money. You can run numbers and be pretty certain that things will work out the way you’re expecting, especially if you invest conservatively.

There are some people- a LOT of people, actually- who will urge you to take a similar route with your time. Get a respectable job. Settle down by age 30, get married, have 2.5 kids and a dog, and retire at 65…

But here’s the deal.

There are no “safe options” when it comes to how you spend your life.

I don’t have anything against living a normal life. I have a pretty ordinary existence, myself. But just because everyone is doing it, doesn’t mean it will bring your purpose or happiness.

And, if the current self-help industry is any indication, there’s a good chance it won’t.

When it comes to living your life, the safest option for you is to know what you want and go after it with all the courage your heart can muster.

Whatever you choose, there’s going to be risk involved.

And that leads me to my final point for this post…

7. Hold Other People’s Opinions Loosely

If you’re going to live life on your own terms, it’s not going to align perfectly with everyone else’s opinions of what you should be doing.

I come from a fairly blue-collar background, so when I was a teen and started talking about wanting to be a writer and an entrepreneur, it didn’t make sense to those closest to me. They didn’t exactly squash my dreams, but they advised me (wisely) to go to college & get a job working for someone else.

That’s the path that had worked for them. And honestly, for a while, it’s worked for me, too.

But I also know there’s a part of me that isn’t going to rest until I try to do my own thing. Others may not understand- and that’s okay. I have one chance to live this life, and not taking risks doesn’t mean there’s no danger involved.

I want to be smart about it, of course, but at the end of the day, this is the life I’m living.

And I want it to be worthwhile.

If you have a dream that the people around you don’t understand, that’s okay.

You might be a genius. It might flop. If you do your research and think it through, chances are it’ll work out just fine.

I’m not saying you should follow every crazy idea you have. I am saying that you need to be willing to sacrifice other people’s good opinions of you to go after what you really want in life.

For some of you, this is second nature. It’s not for me- but it’s a muscle that can only be developed by trying new things.

Remember: Give Yourself Grace

As you start this journey, remember to take it easy on yourself along the way. It won’t be easy (at least it isn’t for me), but it’s worthwhile.

You’re gonna make mistakes, and that’s okay. Few things worth doing will be perfect on the first try.

And if you beat yourself up over small mistakes, it doesn’t do anything except make you less likely to finish what you set out to do.

We’re on this journey together, so let’s get out there, invest our time, and be kind to ourselves the whole way.

This is your one breathtaking, beautiful life. I can’t wait to see how you live it.

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